Posts

06/21/21

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Wow bitch. Confetti Bedroom broadcast was fantastic. It's kind of everything I wanted it to be. There was a little bit of interviewing but it was mostly just vibes the whole time. I did not think we were going to actually do song association. I'm very glad I hiked up my stripper boots and made it to BB. The only problem is this weekend has felt like such a blur. The day of BB I was late getting Lenox from work because my mom was coming back with the car from Riverdale. I felt like a piece of shit when it came to Riverdale because I genuinely just did not feel like going. The only issue is I know Grandma Lue is leaving very soon and trying to speed that process up so I feel like I'm wasting time that I will regret. I don't know why I get so overwhelmed easily and it feels like the world is coming crashing down if I have more than one activity planned for the day. Clearly its not abnormal because I think to a certain extent everyone has a certain level of anxiety but mine...
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06/19/21

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For sure it's been two years since I even remembered that this existed but who cares? Live in the present. Today I am "preparing" for this interview for Bedroom Broadcast, Lennox and Nat's virtual broadcast that celebrates artists...basically who went to MC and who they know. It's a great opportunity but I feel like Miley Cyrus now because WTF Do I Know? I'm not sure what the questions are. It's Lennox so the pressure is going to be low and I will feel comfortable but my anxiety is getting the better of me. I'm nervous I will sound too high or too dumb because I genuinely feel the weed has just been making me dummer and dummer. Speaking of weed lets talk about my next door neighbor. Sure, I'm a dumb ass bitch who left my door open and vaped so the smell had nowhere to go but the hallway next to his room, but does he have to go around spraying disinfectant around my door like it has Lamb's blood or whatever happened in the Bible? Eat my entire a...
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1/29/19

Hello world, me again. I guess this ain't going to be an every night thing and it's okay. It's my decision. It's my journey what I'm doing with this blog. Whatever it the fuck turns out to be. I honestly don't know where to start. I'll just go with what is on my mind. I have an appointment to meet with my director at 12:15 after my script analysis class but I am terrified. I have impostor syndrome. What I'm defining that as is feeling like I'm a lazy actor, I feel like I don't put in enough work yet I get rewarded so often in so many ways. I feel inferior when I'm around other actors because I fear they're doing the work, and I'm not. So I'm scared to talk to my director because she is someone who clearly thrusts herself into the work. A lot of the time I feel like I'm not doing it because I often look inwards for my answers to character questions and not ask the director and just figure it out myself, or I just don't thin...
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01/25/2019

to be done
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1/24/2019

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